Last fall I had an extremely large sculpture that I was commissioned to make for a couple I know quite well. The piece itself was going to be a massive undertaking, we knew that from the start. But when we began, none of us could have been prepared for what it would mean to be making an artwork about this particular time in their lives. The process ended up being one of the most intense and emotionally engaged things I have ever done. I’m only now beginning process what happened and deal with some of the emotion behind it.

When we decided to undertake this piece in the first place, it wasn’t supposed to be a three month, emotionally charged catharsis of the tragedy that was about to happen. But, as divine timing would have it, this artwork would be created exactly the time it was needed.

When this couple decided to commission a work, it was intended to be in line with the series of work that I’m producing for my upcoming show in March. The show is one of stain glass portraiture, and focuses on the divine processes that human beings engage with. Initially the idea for the show was to be individual portraits of human beings set in stain glass, who are shown as a deified version of themselves. Sacred writings are full of stories and parables of what the gods and prophets went through, and the intent of the show was to show the human struggle being linked with that sense of divinity. The thesis of the show has changed by this point, but this commission was going to be the first in the series I was making for the exhibition. 

The piece for this couple, (we’ll call them S&S here for the sake of expediency,) was supposed to be about their own divine process of conceiving a child. The story of S&S by this point had already been somewhat of an epic. From opposite sides of the world, the had met at a conference the both had flown to somewhere else in the world. They met each other and decided this was it, and five days later they were married. Through the trials and tribulations of trying to make a relationship work while relocating to opposite sides of the world, through the struggles they met head on with getting to know one anothers deepness while already being committed to each other, this couple is truly a testament to what it means to make something work.

Years later they decided to take the next step on their journey. They decided to conceive a child together. In the most intentional way possible, they changed their lives and habits in order to conceive, all the while intentionally calling down the new spirit that was supposed to be in their lives.

I found the process they went through to create a new life deeply in touch with the divine, and I was inspired to make a portrait of them coming together to make this new life. To me I saw their inner goddess and god who had gone on this journey to come together and make space to host a new little divine human in the world.

The image I had in my head was one of the many armed gods and goddesses of Hinduism and Buddhism, whose many appendages and attributes come together to create one divine being with many facets. I felt like S&S had come together and aligned their lives and purposes to make something even stronger that could now hold and create another sacred being.

The first thing that had to be done was a portrait session with them both to create the image that I would base the stain glass off of. The portrait session was fun, although a bit shy. There was lots of laughter and experimental posing. The whole day was filled with the excitement of a couple about to become a family. With the shots I’d wanted, S&S took me out for brunch, and we had a wonderful day.

Although I was in the midst of travelling for the festival season, the shots soon coalesced into the portrait I wanted in stain glass. Soon after the stain glass cartoon followed and I was prepped with the images to base the piece off of. 

I would return to Montreal just as they were due to give birth, and I would begin cutting in glass as the baby was born. Everything seemed like it was going as planned. But we could never have been prepared for the process that was to come…

More to follow.

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