On the Issue of Relationships.
Relationships. Gah.
There are days that I feel that I have the skills to deal with intimate relationships, and then there are the days that I feel so completely lost that I never want to engage in romantic space again. I often feel like I'm a failure at intimate space, so completely inept that I should be kept away from all humans forever.
And I know I'm not alone. In a culture where we either idealize love into a perfect impossible fairytale or where we villainize love, believing that no couple (or triad or pod) can ever last, there seems to be no balance in how to approach and create lasting, healthy and stable romantic relationships.
Meet
Nate Bagley, an man who experienced the same feelings and sense of cynicism about love, and then decided to do something about it.
Wanting to learn the truth about love and how to make it last, he is traveling North America interviewing people about their successful relationships, and how they get them to work. These interviews are then aired on
loveumentary.com. He states that "by highlighting the relationships that are working, our ultimate goal is to reinvigorate the country’s faith in love, marriage, and one another."
I know that I can use all the help I can get.
My favourite podcast by far. I've listened to it three times in the last two days. Controversial, but full of things that resonate so deeply for me.
Relationship counsellor Laura Doyle talks about how women are the gatekeepers to intimacy in relationships, and instead of feeling misogynistic like I thought it would, it made me feel empowered and like I have the capacity to create the type of relationship I desire.
Doyle talks about successful relationships as something that can be learned, and that if women focused on certain things, a healthy relationship would follow. Through the six steps of self care, relinquishing inappropriate control, receiving graciously, respect, gratitude and vulnerability, women have the power to influence, change, and improve their relationships.
This one seriously shook so many of the things I thought were true about love.
Relationship counsellor Laura Doyle talks about how women are the gatekeepers to intimacy in relationships, and instead of feeling misogynistic like I thought it would, it made me feel empowered and like I have the capacity to create the type of relationship I desire.
Doyle talks about successful relationships as something that can be learned, and that if women focused on certain things, a healthy relationship would follow. Through the six steps of self care, relinquishing inappropriate control, receiving graciously, respect, gratitude and vulnerability, women have the power to influence, change, and improve their relationships.
This one seriously shook so many of the things I thought were true about love.
Gary Chapman, the author of the 5 Love Languages, speaking about the different ways that people express and receive love, and why it's important to know this about yourself and your partner.
"If we truly desire to experience deep, soul-shaking, life-changing love, we have to drop our shields, tear down our walls, and let people into our hearts. To love is to constantly run the risk of being hurt. Loving is staring potential pain in the face without flinching."
Forgiveness and Sex with Ty and Terri
This principle doesn’t just apply to ideas, careers, and companies. It also applies to relationships… which is why most marriages are merely average. Truly legendary marriages require a consistent effort and dedication to showing up that most people are unwilling to commit to."
Who knows if I'll ever make it, but I think it's worth it to try to develop the best skills possible to become the best partner I can ever be. For more amazing podcasts, make sure to check out
loveumentary.com.